Anxiety – Life Stealer

Anxiety sucks. I think i’ve had anxiety since I was 8 years old. ADD too, but I was always really athletic, so both were under control until college, when I stopped working out and playing sports. I started smoking, and until I quit when I was in my 40s, I didn’t realize how much nicotine helped with my ADD. When I quit drinking in my 50s, I realized how I have been medicating my anxiety. 

Exercise helps, but some days I feel like I would have to run 10 miles to get rid of my anxiety, so I don’t start. art and my spirituality help, but I still have the anxiety.  I don’t take anything addictive and had a bad experience getting off something that I took every day, so I just deal. It robs your life. My comfort zone is small – home, a few family places, work when I’m used to it. I can’t tell you how many art shows I’ve signed up for that I’ve bailed on. The fear of the unknown cranks up my anxiety and the idea of all the work needed to get there is overwhelming due to my ADD. Those were the times before quitting everything that I would smoke to get tasks done and drink to soothe the anxiety. Now, some days getting to 2 or 3 places is overwhelming.  I push myself to do most things. I don’t do big parties or large gatherings anymore, and weddings? Forget about it. Unless I can dance where we are going. Then I really enjoy it. 

The internet is bad for me cause it gives the illusion of a life without actually having one.  I think I just have to force myself to get some exercise every day. Wondering how to get started.