Does Shame Exist Anymore???

Today, I read an article that John Grisham defended his friend for child porn online which featured 16 year old girls. Grisham said that it wasn’t the same as being a pedophile, and that it wasn’t ten year old boys his friend was looking at, so he shouldn’t have been jailed.

Is he kidding?? No, his friend wasn’t physically partaking in any acts, but in viewing and downloading it, he supported those who had utilized underage girls in this abusive way. So he is guilty, and should be in jail. Right?? How can Grisham even make this case? It seems like he has no shame.

Jennifer Lawrence is very upset that her private photos (which were uploaded to the Cloud, which does not guarantee safety) were hacked into and shared. She said it was a sex crime, that those pictures were meant to be shared with her partner only. Forget her naivete and her belief that if/when she and her boyfriend broke up (and they subsequently have) he would never sell them for big bucks. The pictures weren’t just innocent body shots. I didn’t look them up, but some pixelated thumbnails came up when I googled the Vanity Fair article where she called the violation a sex crime, and these were “pretend” porn, in which she behaved and posed just like porn stars do. No wonder she didn’t want her father to see them!! They were not innocent body-proud poses. But many women jumped on the “Defend Jennifer Lawrence at all costs” bandwagon on many sites, claiming it is her right to take those pictures (yes, it is) and her right to expect absolute privacy, even though they were uploaded to a website she didn’t own. On the Tom and Lorenzo site, women even called those women who questioned Lawrence’s street smarts in taking and sending these pics “rape supporters,” and Tom and Lorenzo, the hosts, defended that characterization. Shame at taking these pictures??? Of course not!! Shame at defending her naivete? Of course not!! Shame at defending those who questioned this as a sex crime as rape supporters? Of course not!! Shame is dead.

Also on Tom and Lorenzo, there was a post about Danai Gurira, who said this:

“When women become empowered and live in their strength it’s beneficiary (sic) to others, and I think as young women today we sometimes forget that we are standing on the struggle of other women. Those women had to stand up to make a change, and they were not popular, and now we’re making them unpopular again.”

The same women who called the questioners of Ms. Lawrence’s choices “rape supporters” cheered this quote. There seems to be some serious cognitive dissonance going on here. What do they think Ms. Gurira is talking about?? Did these women fight for the right to send dirty pictures to your boyfriend and have privacy on a public site?? Ridiculous. These women fought for the right for us to be taken seriously, as women who are intelligent, capable and able to do what men do. They didn’t fight for the right for us to use our bodies to manipulate men. That was already acceptable before the women libbers fought for change.

I feel like many young women who think they are feminists have no knowledge of the feminist movement, and what these women really were fighting for. Women say that feminism means being able to use your body to make money if it is your choice, but that isn’t what I remember the feminists fighting for. I know what they fought for, because I was there,watching, in my teens, when a lot of this was going on. This is the backdrop before which my character was formed. In order to be taken seriously, one has to act seriously. Not strip off one’s clothes for television or send one’s selfie porn pictures over publicly owned media and then expect others to safeguard one’s images. Want to be treated like an adult? Act like an adult. Want respect? Act respectable.

So while I am wandering here in my points, this flaming liberal continually questions if shame exists anymore. That the Madonna-beating Sean Penn has a successful career shows there is no shame. That Kim Kardashian started her “career” with a sex tape shows there is no shame. That people support Rihanna, and call her a feminist, even after she briefly went back to batterer Chris Brown and continually shows up mostly nude shows there is no shame. No shame. No judgment. We have become a values-free society.

It’s a shame.


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